While I’m thinking about my childhood, I figured I would provide a sampling of what it was like to raise me. My poor parents. They had no idea what they were getting into by allowing me to enter this world.

 

Virgin vs. Virgo

At about the age of 9, I come home and ask my mother if I’m a virgin. I was confused by the shocked look on her face and her stuttering. It was a simple question after all. She eventually, choked out “I hope so. Why do you ask?”. My reply was that I was curious as to what i was. Poor Mom was perplexed and asked me to explain further So i started explaining the zodiac signs of my friends. “Oh. You mean Virgo” she says as relief washes over her.

 

Hoat Canger

Sometimes the simplest questions can be very challenging. One day, I was cleaning my room and came out to ask my mother a question. I asked “Are there some spare hoat cangers that I could use?” Mom had a confused look on her face and said “hoat canger?” To which i replied, “Yes, hoat canger.” This did no clear her confused look. She ever so patiently told me she did not know what I was asking. Needless to say, I became frustrated and said hoat canger again. Well, this went on for a bit, until i finally became exasperated went to the coat closet and pulled out a damn hoat canger and showed it to her. To which she replies “Oh, you mean coat hanger!” Needless to say we laugh over this and sadio ration (translation = radio station) to this day. My parents had to learn a whole new language when talking with this daughter.