So… I tend to be a fairly nice person even if I’m a little off. If you talk to me, I will talk to you. I’ll joke, smile, laugh, etc – kinda like a normal person. Well, it seems, one of my superpowers is to attract creepy people and that is oh so much fun when it’s a co-worker.

Me, being me, regularly talked to this co-worker, mainly because I saw them often since I work for a small company. Sometimes he came to my office, but always overstayed just chatting. I didn’t think anything of it. Why would I? Not to mention we were both married, he had a half a dozen kids, and he was incredibly unattractive. Oh wait… damn hindsight.

Well, there was this Microsoft conference I signed up to attend. Given his position in the company, he also signed up. So we figured we would car pool the 90 miles for the (and Thank God) one day conference. Everything was fine, until we stopped for dinner halfway home. We eating and chit chatting… and next thing I know, our little business outing gets referred to as a date.

What???? A date??? What??? I damn near choked on my dinner sitting there Thanking God that he didn’t actually know where I lived. Needless to say I was done eating at that point and ready to get that last 40 miles of our day done.

We get back to the car and on the interstate when I get further creeped out by the conversation occurring. Really, dude, this was not a date. I am now contemplating doing a tuck and roll out of a car doing 80+ mph. 《Pause for full body shudder and grossed out sounds》

I make it back to my car and waste no time getting in and taking off. Get home and jump in the shower in an attempt to was the creepiness away. I get to work the next day and share the story with a female co-worker who of course finds this all too funny. (My friends are so supportive). We decide any time he is around, someone from our team will interrupt me to have a “work” related meeting. One would this this might end the story, but one would be wrong.

So, there I am, minding my own business, working like a good little girl when I get a call from him about his latest purchase. Oh it is clearly meant to impress me. I hang up the phone and promptly have a full body shudder that cause me to stand up and run in circles in my office saying “ewe” repeatedly. I manage to head to a friend’s office to tell her that latest. All I can do is shudder and dance around creeped out saying “ewe”.

What was it you ask… well the short back story is I’m a Mopar kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong, I like Chevy too, but I like Mopars a little better. My fav is the old Cudas. Anyone who knows me knows this.

72 barracuda

Well, he bought a 72 Barracuda, which, if you know your Mopars, is not the same. Don’t get me wrong, I like both the 68 & 69 Barracuda fastbacks, but by no means are they as hot as the 70 & especially 71 Cuda, and add a Hemi engine with that super deep rumbly sound… 《pause for moment for self》.

71 Hemi Cuda

Not only did he buy a car, thinking this would somehow impress me, but it had to be shipped from one coast to the other and he paid $5k for a not so great car that needed work just to run. I mean it was a Plain Jane 6 cylinder automatic tranny, bottom of the line…. Dude, you got screwed and not by me and never ever ever by me. And you’ve got a bunch of kids to feed.

So he finally gets the car running and asks if I want to go for a ride. He’ll even let me drive. Yeah, that’s what I want to do, encourage your creepy behavior even more. No freaking way. I’d rather pull teeth from a rabid porcupine in a swamp surrounded by starving alligators.

Needless to say, this provided much entertainment to a few work friends as they would ask periodically if I wanted to go for a ride. (Supportive bunch of people). Oh this little joke lasted a couple of years for them. I can still hear their teasing “hey baby, wanna go for a ride…”