I have a tendency to wear heels… somewhat high heels… usually ranging in the 3″ to 5″ range…

So one day, I was in DC on business wearing my favorite pair of 5″ heels. Nice big chunky heel, so they are pretty comfy and stable.. or so I thought.

I left my meetings about 5pm. If you’ve ever been in DC, 5pm is not the time to try to get out of the city. This particular day was even worse, as it was the hockey playoffs and the Caps had a home game. Traffic was a snarled mess.

So I decided to stay in town for a bit to have dinner, then a little shopping, and leave once the game was well under way. Sounded like a smart plan…

I went to my car to drop off my laptop and stuff. There was a fleeting thought about changing shoes, but I opted to keep my heels on. They are a comfy pair of shoes. I mean, what could go wrong, right? I’ve run in these heels before.

So I have a nice little dinner just down the street from where my car was parked. When I get back outside, I see traffic is still a snarled mess. I decided to head to an area several blocks away for a little shopping.

Now, you should know, I tend to walk fast…. I often say I walk with great purpose. Long strides at a NYC kinda pace. Even in my big girl heels I zip past most people. I was moving along this day, maybe a bit faster than I should have been.

I go to cross at an intersection. A very busy intersection and long intersection – 4 lanes of traffic and shoulder. The Caps game had not started yet, so there was a ton of people around. I’d say near a couple of hundred people where within clear visibility of this intersection and the events that were about to unfold.

I stepped out into the crosswalk at a high rate of speed. Which means before one foot was firmly on the ground the other was already coming up off the ground.

Well, apparently, where I placed my foot was a bit uneven. So….

The foot on the ground twists, dropping me 5″ while the other foot is still in stride… oh boy…

I hurry and put the other foot down so I can try to re-balance myself on the stilts…

I am now stumbling across the intersection, knowing it is going to hurt when I splat, laughing at myself, as I hear people behind me commenting on my ever so graceful stumbling with my arms flailing about.

I make it about half way across the intersection, I start to regain balance and just as I think I’m going to be ok…Ha… right…

Half way through that thought and I’m starting to see the ground get closer and closer as I continue to stumble forward trying like hell not to fall. But knowing I am going to hit the ground and hard.

I’ve made it across 3 lanes when I realize I need to stop fight it and just fall. I was coming up on a curb, which would be worse than the flat pavement.

So I finally hit the ground and skidded. I was officially laughing to hard to feel it. I sat in the street for a moment as people walked around me. My hands were scrapped but not bloody. My hip hurt from the impact it had with the ground. The one knee of my dress pants was slightly damaged. Not so bad… or so I thought…

Finally, one person did decided to be helpful and I got back up on the stilts. (Actually he walked past with a little boy and I guess he realized he should maybe show the little boy he had some manners and turned around and came back) Once up, I started walking to where I was heading, much slower of course. I was thinking a new pair of shoes would be top on my shopping list.

I’m limping along, a little shaken, still laughing when I feel something on my elbow. I stop to find blood and road rash… I realize I need to get to a bathroom so I can clean it, but I don’t want people to see blood dripping from my arm. I position my p

Now, here I am, limping through DC, with my elbow pushed into the side of my purse, blood dripping, head hung, holding in my laughter (not every effectively)…. I have no doubt that I looked like a well dressed crack whore who just got beat down by her pimp.

Ya all should be thankful, that not only do I laugh at myself, I share my embarrassing moments freely, cause, well, they’re just freakin funny. Although, this story is better in person where you get to see me re-enact the the Lord Help Me Jesus Fall… I’m sure there are security guards still watching the footage captured… LOL