Explaining the curling iron to security

Adventures Traveling, All Stories

So… If you ever want to have a bit of fun and dont mind a little slight embarrassment, take a curling iron through a security check point run by a man to visit a memorial…

So, in May I was in NYC on an overnight business trip. I had a few hours before we would catch the train back… Oh darn… lol. I opted to use that free time to go to the 9/11 memorial.

Since this had been an overnight trip, I’m carrying a tote of cloths and necessities with me and I’m still in my business suit and heels.

I get to the security check point and I’m not thinking anything I have on me would be an issue….

Well……..

My tote is xrayed… and the security guy is staring at the xray and then at me and then back to the xray and then back at me…

He asks me what I have in my bag and I explain I was on an overnight trip and thought I would see the memorial before leaving town.

He asks me if I have any metal objects in my bag.

I’m confused…. The only thing I can think of is my black leather belt with metal butterflies (hardened criminal I tell you. lol)

He turns the xray monitor so that I can see and points to an object that he is a bit embarrassed to ask me about.

I said… Oh that is my curling iron. (and I’ll be damned, it does look like…)

He looks confused and asks quietly, what is it, again.

I said it’s my curling iron.

Apparently he did not know what a curling iron was nor did he know what one was used for by the continued confused look…

I finally figured out that I believe he was thinking it was another apparatus (adults will know what that means, unless they are prudes).

I’m trying not to laugh and repeat it’s my curling iron, as now many people are looking at me and the screen to only see the top half of my curling iron.

Oh great… lots of people with kids are thinking I’m wondering around with adult toys…

For the love of God, it’s just my curling iron to do my damn hair…

I offered to pull the offending curling iron out of my bag to show him… He decided that wasnt necessary and let me through the check point.

Needless to say, I had lots of space between me and everyone else. All I could do was laugh at the thoughts running through the minds of everyone around me… I really do try to behave, I swear, I really do… I dont know how it happens…

Orgasmic Salmon – An embarrassing moment

Adventures Traveling, All Stories, Priceless Stories

After talking to my Mother the other day, I realized not everyone gets the name… She thought the meal I had was in fact called Orgasmic Salmon.

So…

There is this little mirco brew in Sterling / Dulles, VA that I love to eat at when I’m down that way… It’s called Sweetwater Tavern. If you every get the chance to go there, do so. Food is really good… maybe a bit too good….

I was there one day on a business trip with the COE (male) and COO (male) of the company I work for having lunch. I had been there before and liked the food, but this time I thought I would order the Short Smoked Salmon. It is very yummy… I mean very very very very very very very yummy.

So, there I was, eating my super yummy salmon, when the CEO asked me if I was ok. I looked up a bit confused and said yes with a look questioning why he was asking.

My boss, the COO, starts to laugh and says I think she’s gonna need two cigarettes after her meal.

Well, just imagine the horror on my face as I am realizing I am making sounds… Sounds of great pleasure apparently. I mean of really really great pleasure… Oh, I guess, maybe I should mention, I wasnt sitting still either…

And not only were they looking at me, everyone in our section was… Oh, I turned bright red. I tried desperately to eat the rest of my meal in silence… Yeah, that didnt work out real well… It was really really really really good, in case you havent figured that out.

Salmon that was short smoked with a dijon sauce… <pause for moment to self>…. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….. In my defense, it was really really really really really really really super yummy….

and further, I’m not the only chic that has had the same response to this dish…. But so far, I havent seen anyone distract multiple tables in a rather noisy restaurant.

So, the Short Smoked Salmon is forever known by a few of us as Orgasmic Salmon. Every time I go there, I have to look up the real name as I really just want to order the orgasmic salmon. Maybe I should let them know about this story and ask them to change the name so that I dont have to bother looking at the menu when I go there. And yes, I have been back despite my sheer embarrassment… many times…

You smart rady (You dumb bitch)

Adventures Traveling, All Stories

So I was in NYC on a business trip some years back with a few co-workers. After our meeting one of my work friends and I decide to walk around Times Square before dinner.

We come across an Asian lady who is painting signs of people’s names. Each letter is made up of objects like dolphins, palm trees, etc. These would be cool for our kids and the sign says $5. So we both decide to get signs with our kids names cause we’re good Moms.

She gives the Asian lady the names of her 3 kids and I give her my son’s name. We arrange to come back and pay for them and pick them up after we’re done exploring.

Well, we get back and my friend gets hers first. The look great. Matted and in a nice plastic sleeve. The Asian lady says $30. My friend argues that the sign says $5. And the street side argument is on…

Turns out the matting and plastic is an extra $5 each. Argument continues and finally my friend says she doesn’t want the matting and plastic. The Asian lady, clearly as pissed at my friend, takes the matting and plastic sleeves off. My friend pays the $15.

The Asian lady gives me a pissed off look, and is ready to dismantle mine too. I tell her I want the matting and plastic. Since I only have one child, I’m ok paying the extra $5 for the matting and plastic sleeve. So as I’m paying the lady and she sees I’m not going to argue, she says to me “You smart rady”

Well it takes everything I have not to bust laughing. I’m biting my tongue. We get up the street just a few steps and I bust out laughing looking at my friend who is still pissed and I say “I smart rady. You dumb bitch”.

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