Oh, he looks all cute and fluffy, but dont let that fool you. Snowball was one very ornery and homicidal cat. Even at only 7 lbs, he ruled the house.

Snowball had a strong dislike for my now ex-husband, to the point that cat really did try to kill him. No lie people, this is the kinda stuff you cant make up.

We had a waterbed that had a bookcase headboard. The picture below shows Snowball on top of the headboard. On top of the headboard was an old radio alarm clock from the early 80’s, so it was huge and heavy. There was also a small lamp and a few other little things.

One night I was woken up by a noise, to realize the very heavy and very hard alarm clock was just falling off the top of the headboard directly over my now ex’s head. Since I still liked him at the time I reached out real quick to grab it. It was heavy enough it really would have done some serious damage to a person’s head. I put the clock back, not thinking the cat was trying to kill him and I went back to sleep.

The very next night, I was awoken in the same manner. Just barely catching the clock before it landed on my ex’s head. I noticed this time Snowball sitting very proper with his fluffy tail wrapped around his legs peering over the top to watch as the clock feel. I put the clock back still not thinking that cat was actually trying to kill the ex.

It was the third night that I thought maybe the cat was up to something, as the clock came flying off the headboard again.

So I figured I would solve this by moving the lamp and the to my side of the headboard.

Well dont you know, the next nite I am awaken by a scooting noise. I finally realize what the noise was as I reached out to catch the clock as it was being dropped on my ex’s head. I no sooner had a hold of the clock and I heard the noise again. I barely had time to adjust so I could catch the lamp that was being dropped on my ex’s head.

Well, now, that is one smart and determined cat. He pushed each item back to my ex’s side of the headboard before dropping them off the edge.

On nights my ex wasnt home. The cat left everything alone, but if my ex was home…

My ex usually slept through all of this, but one night I was a little slow catching the clock (yes, this went on for a few weeks.) My hand covered the sharp corner, so all he felt was the back of my hand hitting his head.

At that point, I decided to tell him the cat was trying to kill him and pointed up to Snowball who was sitting there watching. I swear he was smiling.

Needless to say, my ex thought I had lost my mind. Ok, I know I’m slightly off center, but really, why the hell else would I be laying in bed during the middle of the night holding the damn alarm clock and lamp?

Well, since he didnt believe I put the clock and lamp back and laid back down. Thinking to myself, let him catch the clock… in the forehead.

Well, I didnt have to wait but for a few minutes here comes the clock again. I grab it, but it still sorta collides with my ex’s head. OK, I wasnt going to grab the clock, but then I thought… Just how well is this going to go over with the cops, judge, jury, etc… I just dont think anyone was going to believe he had a clock sticking outta his forehead because the cat wanted him dead. I dont think they would have believed me, but it was totally true!!!!

My ex sits bolt right up in bed yelling the cat’s trying to kill him.

Unable to contain my sarcasm I reuse his words implying he’s loco as no cat would be smart enough to pull that off. He told me the cat has to go. Yeah, that was gonna happen. The ex was smart enough to not make me choose him or the cat. He would have lost.

So we got a new bed, one without a headboard. And we got a nightstand for the clock and lamp. Dont ya know, the clock never got pushed off again.

Snowball was a little spitfire of a cat who I miss dearly. Several years after his failed attempts to kill a sleeping man, he disappeared. His brother, Sock Kitty, cried for him every night for months. While they are no longer with me, they gave me some if the best memories with their crazy antics. I hope they are having fun in kitty heaven.