So… Let me tell ya about the time I inadvertently tried to kill my Gal Pal….

I’ve driven a standard shift for 20 yrs… I HATE automatic transmissions; hate, hate, hate, hate, hate them. But, it’s getting harder and harder to find a manual tranny unless you want the disposable, bottom of the line, POS or you have lots of money to spend on a high-end car…

Since my budget is limited, but I wanted something nicer because I travel so much, I opted to buy an…

a u t o m a t i c t r a n s m i s s i o n….

YUCK… It was like committing a sin against nature.

Well, I was excited to get my new car, even if it was one of those… I was picking it up over lunch. I asked my Gal Pal if he wanted to ride along and he did…. Ha Ha Ha… He’ll never make that mistake again!!!

What I neglected to tell my Gal Pal was that when I went to test drive the car, I had to ask the sales guy and I quote:

“So… Silly question, but how do you work an automatic tranny?”

I’m dead serious… I didnt know how to start it because there was a pedal missing… I havent driven one in 20 yrs… I’ve forgot how they work… give me a break… k?

So, my unsuspecting Gal Pal heads to the dealership with me to get my shiny new car with one less pedal… I get my new car and we head back to the office. Before getting to the office, I make a quick stop at the local gas station to get something for lunch. (I live off of gas station food… not really by choice, it’s just so easy, and I always forget to bring something because I have an Etch-a-Sketch for a brain….which is why I’m remember this story now, a year and a half after it happened…) Now, where was I? Oh, right… nearly killing my Gal Pal….

I pulled into a parking spot, leaving the car running, as my Gal Pal opted to stay in the car (ha ha ha, that was a really bad idea)

I get back into the car and I realize

I LEFT the car in DRIVE WHILE it was RUNNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Gal Pal sat in my running car, never realizing it was in DRIVE.

I muttered something that I cant recall about leaving it in drive… thankful I was anal about using the e-break… OR my Brand New Shiny Car would have Smashed Through the Front of Rutters and with my luck probably would have crushed me as I was standing in the store… I can just imagine the headlines for that story…

Now I could have been crushed by my own car inside the gas station, but my Gal Pal was more concerned with what he perceived as a near death experience… He was in the car surrounded by airbags… Really… just what harm would have come to him, well, ok, other than having to public admit that he knows me, which, well, let’s face it, that can be really damaging…

Needless to say, the drive back to the office (a whopping 1 mile), my Gal Pal was tense and put his seat belt on and held on to the “Hail Mary” hand grip. I think he even prayed, well, in between asking me “What the fuck is wrong with you?” (as a foot note, he asks that question at least once a week for about 5 yrs so far. lol)

 

So… One of my dearest friends is “Gal Pal”, which at his request, is really “Gal Pal (and his dark passenger)”, but I’m too lazy to type all that… So, when I type “Gal Pal”, y’all can in say “and his dark passenger”. I, at the risk of his wrath, am going to share a text conversation, which leads to how the name Devious Muse came about.

Well, I have to share these in their true form, as the graphics are important too…

My response was “Evil Grin” which promptly lead me to being called devious and later sadistic.

A couple of days later, I asked my Gal Pal for ideas on blog names. Yeah, it was quiet entertaining to watch his random thoughts come across my phone… but one thing he said again was that I was devious… and it kinda stuck, because, well, ok, I’ll admit it, I am maybe a touch devious. Just a touch. Since I’ve often been told I am a Muse when others need to remove a writer’s block, it seemed fitting to go with the name Devious Muse. Or so I thought.

 

I Goggled Devious Muse and nothing of importance came up. So I went lock, stock, and barrel forward with my choice and bought the domain name, good software for editing and managing my blog, etc… After making my investment, I did a quick search, which somehow went to Yahoo instead of Google and saw this:

What??? Oh, seriously???? The first page of results… “Dominatrix – Goddess – Humiliartix – Sadist…” and I dont know whether to laugh or cry. Really, the Universe does love to mess with me. I try to behave, I really do…

And yet again, my Gal Pal is asking with a completely baffled look things like “How have you survived?” I dont know.

Pardon my sappiness for a minute, but since this is the first post in my blog…. I felt it was important that it be about a person who is an incredible friend, who I love dearly, and I have been lucky to have him grace my life with his presence. Someone who has been very supportive of my writing and, most importantly, the crazy mess that is me. One of those very rare genuine people that understands the true meaning of friendship, and for that, Gal Pal, I thank you for and love you for. That past year of my life has been amazing and full of changes, and you’ve been a big positive influence to my direction. How we havent killed each other is beyond me, and I’m sure at some point we will still come to blows in a parking lot, but I think that is what will keep us as good friends.